"A vaincre sans péril, on triomphe sans gloire. "
Well the fifth and sixth picks for this very unfortunate experiment calling itself a fantasy football league has concluded. I have chosen two individuals based on name alone. I am sure that this is a pattern of behavior that will in no way come back to bite me in the ass.
First, I chose Rob Gronkowski, known as "Gronk." That is awesome. If that doesn't conjure up images of an ogre or some kind of goblin, I don't know what does. There is not much improvement I can put upon a piece of subtle hilarity like "Gronk." According to sources he is unlikely to play the first week because of an injury. I guess I will refer to him as "Gronk the Blooded." Yes, a kind of barbarian warrior, bearing the scars of battle one receives when serving the vanguard of an attacking army. He is the first over the wall, a kind of beserker.
Wait a minute...
Of course I would pick a man who is already injured. The damn season hasn't even started yet and I am already taking casualties! Well at this rate my whole roster should be dead by the playoffs. Lets go team! If you ain't bleedin' you ain't tryin'!
Well lets leave that sour note for my other pick. I have gone with Jordy Nelson. Because that name feels like it belongs in Star Trek the Next Generation; and if I may quote from his Wikipedia page "...and took his redshirt year..." Well, I guess that means that I can count at least one more injury during the course of this season. Lets hope that Jordy keeps his butt a long distance from the teleporter room and any away teams.
One other thing I have noticed about this strange creature of a hobby called Fantasy Football is how everyone is willing to give me "advice." What is especially interesting is that I get more advice from people who seem to know less. They are aware that I am the very definition of a novice and want to assert their dominance by proving that they know more than I do. But, what they don't realize is that I don't care.
This draft is becoming beyond tedious. I believe I will pick the next two players from lower down in the rankings entirely out of spite.
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